these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
