You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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