I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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