i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
