Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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