just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
