Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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