I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
its liver damage thursday
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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