It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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