I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
