dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
