that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
PANTIES FOUND
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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