i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
