Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
