he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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