they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
