Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
