Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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