Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize