Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
