The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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