I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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