wanna go halves on a baby?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize