I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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