Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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