My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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