All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
