what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
