Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
