dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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