guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
