you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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