Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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