the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
