i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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