the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
