I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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