He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
