I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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