ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
