Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
