READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Randomize