They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize