Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
