This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
