Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
