I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
