You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
