I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
