Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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