Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
