Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
