i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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