lets start a swedish sibling band together
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
