the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize