"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i dont even know how to be here
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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