you guys were way drunker than both of me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
