isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
