these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
