did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
