Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need to calm my uterus...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
